Avoiding The Frocky Horror Show

For some brides-to- be, the question of what to wear on the wedding day has been addressed far in advance. Occassionally, even before the groom knows that a wedding is happening and that he's in it.

A wedding dress can be the fulfilment of girlish fantasies or an edgy expression of the personality. We’re no longer constrained by convention to wear something that demurely whispers ''purity'' and looks like a mummy that got lost in a lace factory. Occassionally though, the pendulum swings too far the other way and the bride looks as though she'll get some more mileage out of the dress on the stage of the Moulin Rouge. Elegance is a good aspiration for wedding day sartorial ambitions and it doesn't necessarily have to come in either white or a Vera Wang box with a fully accessorised overdraft.

If you're geting married in a church, there are certain expectations, but even vicars can move with the times. Some may feel that God would smile upon punk brides who will never be short of an emergency safety pin, while others will lock themselves in the vestry at the sight of the Bonnie and Clyde look-a-likes storming up the aisle.

Marriage ceremonies outside of hallowed walls allow the dress-up box to be explored to its fullest extent. Or even the dressing-down box. Obviously beach weddings and dry-clean only labels aren't ideal bedfellows, so you need something that won't disintegrate in the first zephyr of salt air or migrate to Kalgoorlie when the Fremantle doctor joins your wedding party. Bathers and a sarong are fine, as long as the groom still has somewhere 'appropriate' to keep the rings. You know what I mean.

Dress to express your sense of style. I know I just don't feel comfortable leaving the house without a few kilos of Swarovski crystals, which causes a few sideways glances in the auto accessories aisle at KMart, I can tell you. Others go for a minimalist look that says ''Victoria's all out of secrets.''

You may want to consider the degree of movement you'll need on the day. Some of the more intricate bridal gowns may need to be teamed with a set of castors rather than killer heels as anything more than a minor muscle spasm could result in Catastrophic Stitching Failure. Others require the wearer to have driving lessons before trying to steer them in public. There are reports that dry cleaners have found dazed and distressed wedding guests embedded deep in layers of tulle.

It's your day in the spotlight, so wear what you want. The rule is, there are no rules. Oh - except for one. Crocs. I beg you, say no.